A True Miracle Of Modern Science
Cancer cure? Flying car that runs on water? A manned mission to Mars? Truly, these would be wondrous things, but, when the history of the 21st century is written, they will be noted as secondary achievements next to this — the Wake n’ Bacon alarm clock. Language is a sadly inadequate tool to describe the wonder that is this brilliant creation. Someday — maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday — you will be awakened not by some raucous buzzer, nor by the mindless blather of early morning disk jockeys, but by the aroma of cooked bacon, ready for you to eat. You will not even need to leave your bed; the bacon will be there, crisp, hot, and freshly cooked. All you will do is reach for it.
I cannot wait for the future — the wonderful, nitrate-laden, high-sodium, artery-clogging future — to be here.
